I Can't See Your Star
by RavenBaraq
Summary: What do you do when he's left without telling you?  What do you do when you've had to leave without letting her know? Twoshot songfic. RedXRae. Rated T for mild language
1. I Can't See Your Star

((Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. The lyrics belong to Evanescence.))

* * *

_I can't see your star…_

_I can't see your star…_

She sat on the roof of the Tower, silently, appearing to meditate. But there were thoughts other than her mantra going through her head. Violet eyes opened and she lifted herself gracefully, effortlessly, to her feet. Her purple hood was thrown up over her head, as it normally was when there was a chance of showing weakness. Behind the violet eyes, different sides bickered over the situation.

_I've been patiently waiting bedside for the death of today_

_I can't see your star_

_The mechanical lights of Lisbon frightened it away_

"We've been waiting for two weeks, and we haven't heard anything from him!"

"Maybe he doesn't love us anymore…"

"Maybe he never loved you in the first place!"

"Oh…"

"Stop it, Green! You're making poor Grey cry!"

"Of course he still loves us!"

"Perhaps he simply hasn't been able to contact us. Things happen, after all. Perhaps he just got caught up in his work. I'm not too worried."

Raven decided to go with the more intelligent and logical side of her psyche. But still, she stood on the edge of the roof, staring out into nothingness, wondering…

_And I'm alone now_

_Me and all I stood for_

_We're wandering now_

_All in parts and pieces, we're lonely_

_Find your own way out_

She couldn't help but wonder where on earth he'd been for the past two weeks. It was usual for them to go without contact for as much as a week at a time, due to the rather shady nature of his work, but he usually didn't let it go for more than that without at least letting her know where he was, or telling her that he would be gone for the next however-long-a-period-of-time.

But there she was, alone on her rooftop, waiting for a sign that he was thinking about her. Not necessarily a visual sign: she had taught him how to project a bit of his aura to her, just a little "warm fuzzy" to let her know he was thinking about her. But she hadn't felt one of those since they last parted.

_I can't see your star…_

_I can't see your star…_

_How can the darkness feel so wrong?_

Raven shuddered in the night air. She pulled her cloak tighter around her thin body, wishing silently for warmth that could only be gained from another living body next to hers. She closed her eyes again and called up from the depths of her memory the recollection of his embrace, the warmth that he gave her and the comfort of his touch. Somehow he made the darkness more comfortable, even for her.

_And I'm alone now_

_Me and all I stood for_

_We're wandering now_

_All in parts and pieces, we're lonely_

_Find your own way out_

And she allowed her soul-self to soar over the Bay. She listened to the waves as they gently crashed against the shore, against the concrete supports of the boardwalk. She listened to the sounds of the city that the Titans constantly fought for. She saw the streets, the lights, the people. She searched everywhere, but she couldn't find him.

_So far away_

_It's growing colder without your love_

_Why can't you feel me calling your name?_

_Can't break the silence: it's breaking me_

Returning to her body on the rooftop, Raven folded her legs into a lotus position once more and meditated. Behind the violet eyes beneath the closed eyelids, another voice, the one who hadn't yet spoken, began to murmur.

_All my fears turn to rage…_

"What if he left you? For someone else, perhaps, someone less dangerous. No one could be more sensible than you, or prettier than you in your way. So wouldn't it be a shame if your precious had chosen someone less than you…"

Raven's meditative state of mind disappears, distracted by the possibilities brought up by Red, the irrationally angry side of her psyche. Four red glowing eyes superimpose themselves over her pretty violet ones, threatening an explosion for a split second before Raven regains control of herself.

_And I'm alone now_

_Me and all I stood for_

_We're wandering now_

_All in parts and pieces, we're lonely_

_Find your own way out now_

She takes a moment to lock away Rage again, to ensure that such an incident will not happen again and if it does that it will not further itself, and then unfolds from her lotus position to stand again. She casts her gaze once more out over the Bay, and then turns with a simple swish of her cloak and reenters the Tower, returning to her room.

_Nothing worth fighting for_

_We're wandering now_

_All in parts and pieces, we're lonely_

_Find your own way out_

And Raven doesn't see the shadow darting across the roof after her as she closes the door behind her.


	2. All That I'm Living For

((Disclaimer: Again, I do not own the Teen Titans. And again, the lyrics belong to Evanescence.)

* * *

_All that I'm living for_

_All that I'm dying for_

_All that I can't ignore alone at night_

He spun to face the bright beam of the flashlight facing him, glaring into his eyes. The two thugs stood speechless, unable to believe that they've found themselves face-to-face with another criminal. Beneath the full-face mask, the thief's upper lip curled into a snarl. He glared at the other two thugs, though they couldn't know it.

"You two are way too late." He growled, the voice distorter installed in his mask changing his natural voice into something much more sinister. "I got here first, so why don't you run along and try somewhere else. Leave the pro-jobs to the professionals."

"No way, punk!" One man snapped. He was big and burly, unworthy of calling himself a thief, or so the professional thought. There was no way someone of his girth could move as quickly as a true thief. No, the professional decided that this one was just a common thug. "We been plannin' this gig for a week—"

The professional thief's sharp voice cut his adversary off mid-sentence. "Firstly, the term is _heist_. Secondly, I've been commissioned for this _heist_. As in, it's my _job_. And thirdly…" He whipped out a pair of X-shaped blades. "You'll have to fight me for the keep."

_I can feel the night beginning_

_Separate me from the living_

_Understanding me, after all I've seen_

_Piecing every thought together_

_Find the words to make me better_

_If I only knew how to pull myself apart_

Needless to say, the thugs ran. The thief known as Red-X finished packed his belt and extra bag with jewels before the alarm even went off. He bounded up to the window and out, dropping into the street before the night watchmen even arrived. Dashing through the back streets, Red-X thought himself a very good professional.

Once he had returned safely to his storehouse, he began sorting through the gems, deciding which ones he should keep and which ones he should drop into opportune places for certain people to find. There was always his payment to Chang for the latest shipment of synovium, and the pretty young lady whom he had watched over from a distance on her lonely walk home from the club a few days ago. And then of course, his own sweetheart deserved at least one gem out of his steal.

_All that I'm living for_

_All that I'm dying for_

_All that I can't ignore, alone at night_

The thought of his girl sent a chill down his spine. Not just one of adoration, but also one of dread. He was the type to take care of himself first and others only if it suited his own safety, but ever since he had met her, there was someone else for him to care for and watch over. And with his line of work, he couldn't exactly afford to be attached to anyone. That way, his various employers had leverage over him. And if there was one thing Red-X hated, it was people having leverage over him.

_All that I'm wanted for_

_Although I wanted more_

_Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me_

He stretched out on his makeshift bed. Just a mattress, really, and an old down pillow with feathers randomly sticking out of it. His black-gloved hands reached up and slowly took off his mask. The moment he laid his head back, he felt something stick into the back of his head. He sat up again and pulled the ebony feather out of starkly contrasting hair.

He sat staring at it, turning it slowly and examining it. Its color, the way it shined, it reminded him of that suit she always wore. Not so tight as to be considered skanky or whorish, but flashy enough to show that there was something to desire concealed beneath. Red-X smiled slowly, and then in a rare display of purely childish affection, he stuck the feather back into his white hair. Then he flopped his head back onto the pillow and just lay there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling.

_I believe that dreams are sacred_

_Take my darkest fears and play them_

_Like a lullaby, like a reason why_

_Like a play of my obsessions_

_Make me understand the lesson_

_So I find myself, so I won't be lost again_

She had been a dream-come-true for him. He had been on the verge of leaving the town, unable to continue living as he did—void of emotion, lacking friends and relatives, unable to appear as a normal person. So he'd decided to plan one last heist before he disappeared forever, a final great chase for the Titans and a lasting thrill for the City. Oh, he wasn't going to destroy anything. That's not how he was. Sure, if a shop window or perhaps even a wall got between him and his precious gems, he would start breaking things. But even then, he would only break what needed to be broken.

And so it began—he broke into a jewelry store in the evening, just when the sun was beginning to set, because he knew the lack of natural light to guide them would make the chase all the more fun for him. Well, had he been paying more attention he would have noticed the black portal opening up in front of his feet, but he didn't see it for the shadows that it hid in. And so it was that Raven caught him and held him up above the water of the Bay until he explained what he was doing. She didn't seem too convinced, but he had a spur-of-the-moment idea and, reaching into one of his bags, he held out a beautiful necklace to her. It being stolen material, she wouldn't take it, of course, but he shrugged and said that he just thought it would look nice on her. She shook her head and put him down, shooing him off like a child, but he could see a twinkle in her violet eyes that told him they would be seeing each other again soon.

_All that I'm living for_

_All that I'm dying for_

_All that I can't ignore, alone at night_

He _had_ disappeared for a few weeks after that, but then he decided that he couldn't help himself. He came back and left a note on her mirror—"Meet me alone at the southern-most dock?" And she had showed! The minute he was sure she was alone, he approached from the shadows and handed her a small plastic bag. Inside was the necklace he'd offered her and the receipt proving that he'd paid for it this time. She smiled ever so slightly and accepted it with a small nod of thanks before retreating to her steel and glass Titans' Tower.

_All that I'm wanted for_

_Although I wanted more_

_Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me_

After that he couldn't stop thinking about her. Apparently she felt the same way, because she would "accidentally allow him to escape". He would leave notes on her mirror and she would meet him for young-hour strolls along the beach and they would talk. Eventually he went back to doing commissions for higher-up criminals, just stealing, though. As he had told the Titans more often than not, he was _not_ a killer or a common villain—he was merely a professional thief. That was all.

Eventually, when Raven suspected that the other Titans were catching on to her late-night excursions and her "accidents" that resulted in their not being able to capture Red-X, she had taught him how to project a bit of his aura to her mind, to allow her to feel his presence as clearly as if he were standing with her in body. That way, they lessened the risk of being caught by _anyone_, Red-X's employers and the Teen Titans included.

_Guess I thought I'd have to change the world_

_To make you see me_

_To make you want me_

_I could have run forever_

_But how far would I have gone_

_Without mourning your love_

He sat up and ran his hand through the shaggy white hair on his head. "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I haven't seen her in two weeks… haven't even reached out to her." He thought back on those past two weeks. He had had a _huge_ job to do for a crime lord up near Gotham. It required all of his concentration, since it involved breaking into one of the highest security vaults in the region and stealing a few of the most precious items in the world, though Red-X usually asked that his employers _not_ disclose what was so important about the objects or why the matter of their retrieval was so pressing, as these bits of information often distracted him from the job at hand. This being the case, he decided it would be in both his and Raven's best interest if he were to refrain from contacting her until the job was finished.

The job itself had taken a mere fifteen minutes to complete, but it had taken over a week and a half to plan out, and then another two days to return to Jump City and rest up. In that time he had received another commission, the one he had just acted out… the thought of which brought his wandering mind back to the point at hand—he hadn't seen his Raven for two weeks and he was sure she wasn't incredibly happy about that fact. Neither was he, so with a stretch and a groan, he pulled his mask back on and pressed the "X" on the center of his belt.

_All that I'm living for_

_All that I'm dying for_

_All that I can't ignore, alone at night_

Once atop the Titan's Tower roof, Red-X simply stood and stared at Raven, using the shadows and Raven's lessons to mask his presence from her. She unfolded form her lotus position and stared up at the sky, as though trying to form an image from the stars. He couldn't see her face from this angle, especially since she had her hood up. He knew there was grief and worry in her heart and probably showing now in her pretty violet eyes. Finally she turned and glided slowly back to the door at the top of the building. Just as the door began to close behind her, Red-X darted across the rooftop with the agility and silence of a cat and caught the door. He held it for a moment or two, waiting until her was probably back in her room before he followed her in.

_All that I'm wanted for_

_Although I wanted more_

_Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me_

He followed her into her room, which took more skill to enter from _inside_ the Tower than from _outside_ of it, he discovered. But as soon as he was inside the dark place, she realized that he was there with her. Without turning around, she unclasped her cloak and laid it aside. Then she glanced over her shoulder at him, and he stepped from the shadows, removing his mask for her for the first time. He heard a slight intake of breath that betrayed her surprise. Raven turned fully to Red-X and he wrapped his arms around her slight body, placing a sweet and lasting kiss on her lips…

_Should I hurt to love you?_

_Should I feel like I do?_

_Should I lock the last open door?_

_My ghosts gaining on me_


End file.
